Nothing much to say
about today except, “woe, woe, woe!”—lament and grief. We remained in the
house, we cried, we sang songs of lament, we talked, we tried to make sense of
what has happened, but we have no answers.
We heard again the
details of the trial from Joseph and Nicodemus. We heard them share their deep sense
of failure for not speaking up, for not standing against what had gone on. They
wondered what might have happened had they done so. Who knows?
We heard Peter admit
what had happened at the fire in the courtyard of the high priest’s home. It
turns out that Yeshua had been right about Peter denying him. He told that
three times he was asked if he was a companion of Yeshua, but three times he
had not been able to find the courage to stand for him and had denied it. Then
the rooster had crowed! He spoke of his deep sense of bitter failure, his anger
at himself, his perplexity. I was impressed with his honesty, and somewhat
thankful—otherwise Peter would have hung on one of those crosses. Yeshua had
been spot on about all this as usual. How come he is dead?
None of us really
care about the “failure” of our brothers. We are all facing our guilt and
failure—we were are no better. At least Peter had had the courage to follow
Yeshua, we had all run. Simon the Cananion wants us to launch an attack on the
Romans now, an act of vengeance. None of us have any stomach for that, no need
for more needless blood. Even the sons of thunder show little interest.
My heart goes out
most to Mary, Yeshua’s mother. She is in deep pain. A mother’s worst nightmare!
The others are caring for her. How will she get through this, or will she die
of a broken heart!
The truth is none of
us know what to make of it all. None of us saw this coming. I presume we will
all go back to our old lives, to fishing and stuff like that. Not sure what I
will do. Back to the family business I suppose. Sounds so mundane after the
last three years—did it really happen?
Will the Holy One
ever save us? Are we destined to live forever under the Romans or some other
Gentile dogs? “Where are you Adonai? Why have you abandoned us?”
We did make one
decision though. The women will go to the tomb in the morning to anoint
Yeshua’s body. The Roman guards will allow them to do this I am sure. They
don’t like to violate our customs, even though they despise us—the feeling is
mutual.
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